I love science fiction movies.  From cheesy to thought provoking, from shoestring budgets to the Hollywood blockbusters, I'm always ready to watch.  And if you add in some suspense or horror?  I am on that in an instant.

Ridley Scott's "Prometheus", the prequel to the Alien franchise, should have been a hit with me.  Robots, a deep space mission, undiscovered worlds, philosophical musings on god... what went wrong?



**  WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD  ** 



Scientists who aren't scientists
I don't expect scriptwriters to be experts in everything from anthropology to astrophysics but I do expect characters who are scientists to act like it.  Just because the air has the right oxygen-nitrogen mix doesn't mean you should immediately remove your freaking helmet. 

Alien wildlife, especially snakes, insects, and spiders?  Don't touch it!  Most children learn that before they reach their pre-teens.  That leads nicely into...


Survival skills?  Who needs 'em!
You do, if you're going to be running around on an alien world.  Or hell, walking down the street to your local convenience store.  Sure, the skill set for "alien planet" is a little different from "urban landscape" but these people were so lacking in common sense I doubt they could cross a street without being hit by a car.  Bad luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, natural disaster, that's one thing.  But purposefully placing yourself in danger for no other reason than a childish impatience?  That's just stupid. 


In space, no on can hear feminists scream
Also... why the &#@! is the very expensive automated medical equipment in the life-pod/ Ms. Vicker's quarters only programmed for men?!  A device sophisticated enough to perform moderately complex surgeries can't handle the female reproductive system?  You're telling me that in the future all spaceship crews are men?  Or is it just that female lives are worth less in space?  Ms. Vickers, who has every creature comfort possible in her life-raft, couldn't afford to spring for the upgrade?  It was a kicker - as in, it kicked me right out of my suspension of disbelief.


Once bitten, twice stupid
One giant alien manages to kill several members of your crew and is barely stopped from launching a devastating attack on Earth.  You're the only survivor (aside from your robot Yorick) and you happen to have an alien spaceship capable of interstellar travel.  Instead of actually telling Earth what happened, you blast off to unknown territories because you have the burning need to ask the genocidal aliens "Why are you all so mean?".

Final Thoughts: Bored and Disappointed
When the only character you have any sympathy for was the unemotional robot, something's wrong with the writing.  I didn't give a damn when any of the human characters died.  It wasn't even surprising because it was usually due to their own stupidity. 

I would have liked to have seen more discussion on the idea of the aliens as creators of life.  Or really, any at all.  How exactly did we jump from similar pictures of stars on cave walls to "they must have created us".  An address and invitation, I can see that.  It's even logical.  But honestly, there's no evidence available to the characters that the aliens were anything other than visitors to Earth

As a standalone science fiction movie, it falls a little flat.  As a prequel to a movie that relied on slowly mounting dread and introduced a generation to the concept of "body horror", it falls flat on its face - in a pile of dog poop.